Commitment
by Saiyachick
Summary: Commitment: A pledge or a promise. An obligation. Sometimes mind isn't always over matter, especially when it comes to a commitment such as marriage.


Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight series. That right belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

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**Commitment**

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I would give anything in the world to just escape this moment of hell.

As if it weren't bad enough to deal with Emmett and Rosalie's public displays and their deep feelings of lust for one another, but to have to sit through _another _wedding was just pure torture. What did I do to deserve this? Oh right; mass slayings. I turned to my left and saw Edward stand dutifully as the best man. The rigid posture didn't fool me because I felt the anxiety that radiated off of him.

After enduring half a dozen weddings between our dear brother and sister, nothing amazed us, but Rosalie insisted on matrimony. The only bright side to the situation was that not too many people attended. Only our family, Bella, and on some occasions the clan in Denali attended the formal celebration. I saw Edward eye Bella and smirk at her. Bella grimaced.

I laughed softly at her reluctance to marriage; it reminded me of Alice. I remember after Emmett and Rosalie's second wedding that I whisked off into privacy with Alice, asking her when it would be the two of us joined in matrimony. She merely smiled and shook her head. At first I was hurt at her rejection. Why didn't she want to marry me? We both knew that the two of us were bonded for eternity. Two halves of a soul.

I was pulled back to the present when I saw my brother and sister share a brief kiss. Shocking. Usually the two were at it like they would be separated for a long period of time. I sighed in relief as the wedding finally ended which led to the reception in our usual baseball field. It was at these moments, in which everyone felt human, except Bella, she was already a human.

I watched as Alice danced with Emmett, Edward, and then Carlisle. She loved Rosalie's weddings. Alice adored the whole festive mood and was planning Bella and Edward's before they even knew when the moment would happen. I laughed softly though felt a bit bitter that Edward and Bella would marry before Alice and I. A frown appeared on my face as I twirled Tanya and bowed out of the dance and into the forest.

I walked farther away from the clearing until I could barely see the entrance. I wanted to feel my emotions on my own and not have others impact them with their giddiness. I pressed my back against a rooted tree and breathed slowly to calm my nerves, though it was in vain. Weddings always bothered me. I toyed with the small black box in my jacket pocket and groaned at my childish behavior. I didn't know why I always kept the ring with me; I just felt obligated to do so.

Ever since my beginning in the South I had always carried a small black box that held an engagement ring in it. I felt that one day I would need it. One day I would find the other half of me. One day I would fill that empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was a silly thought but I carried the token of affection with me at all times. It had been over one hundred years since I had first laid my eyes on the ring. I almost forgot what it looked like my self. Alice probably knew of my idiocy, but she didn't say a word of it to me yet. That was Alice. She never wished to cause me pain and yet day by day I felt as if I was slowly fading. I loved her more than life itself. I would gladly give up my immortality and die if that's what it took for her to marry me first.

Alas I am left in the ashes of my own war. Disdain. I knew she loved me and shared the same ardent romance that coursed throughout our bodies. Everything I am is because of her. Every essence of her being is mine for the taking. She and I were one. Bonded for eternity. My Alice. Her Jasper. That's how things had been since that first day we met in that quaint diner.

"Jasper?"

I turned my head slightly to see where the faint whisper came from. I already knew the voice and would know it for the rest of my life. I smiled gently and opened my arms to my beloved. "Yes Alice?"

"What are you doing out here love?" She asked softly while walking into my embrace.

These were the moments I enjoyed the most of our relationship. The stolen moments. We didn't work well with the whole public display ordeal.

I shook my head and bent down to kiss her forehead. "Just thinking."

She buried her head into my chest as I rested my head against hers. I felt her lips press briefly against the hollow base of my throat. "What are you thinking about?"

"As if you don't know," I replied with a dry laugh. I felt her move in my arms and sighed.

Alice stared into my eyes and I could see traces of sadness. "You do know that I love you right?"

I blinked. "Of course."

"Why is that not enough?" She bit her lip and continued her innocent stare.

A low growl rumbled in my chest. "Rejection isn't an easy thing to deal with. It feels as if we aren't _official_."

"Well I consider you my husband." I rolled my eyes at her comment. Typical. "I really do Jasper. Am I not your wife?"

"Well not everyone knows what we are, love. They just know us as _boyfriend _and _girlfriend_, not _husband_ and _wife_. For pity sake's Alice, even Bella agreed to marry Edward!"

I watched her close her eyes, pursing her lips in deep thought. We stayed silent for a few minutes until she took a deep breath. "You really want to know why I won't marry you yet."

"I think I deserve that much," I muttered lowly. It was true. I deserved to know why she wouldn't marry me, _yet_, as she put it.

"Fine." Alice murmured as she walked out of my arms to stand in front of me. Her arms crossed against her chest as she paced back and forth. "Jasper, this is really hard to say, but I can't marry you because your commitment is elsewhere at the moment."

I furrowed my eyebrows at her statement. "I assure you that no other being has attracted my attention-"

"You are wrong Jasper. Humans attract you. Do you know why?"

I didn't appreciate being treated like a child. Of course I knew of my affliction. "Yes. Bloodlust," I said through my clenched teeth.

"_That _is why I can't marry you yet Jasper," she whispered, walking back towards me. "Your commitment isn't fully on me, but on controlling that bloodlust every single day. I am not saying that I am ashamed of you, heaven forbid, but I don't want to give you another thing to commit yourself to when you can't even deal with the one commitment you have now."

I clenched my fists to my side as anger filled me. So, it was _my _fault that Alice didn't want to marry me. Perfect. "Alice, I am sorry-"

"No love, I am sorry. I never wanted to hurt you nor do I ever, but this is the only way to keep you safe. Until your bloodlust eases and your commitment is under control, I _can't _marry you. I will not put you through that complication Jasper, I swear I will not. I may be putting you through pain by not doing this for you, but I have to hurt you just a bit to make you stronger."

My eyes flickered to hers. I could see the sheer torment and agony in her eyes as she spoke every word truthfully. If only the tears would fall, a river would be made. I wrapped my arms around her once more and shook my head. She was doing this to protect me. Even though I suffered each day, I understood why she wouldn't marry me. My commitment. My strong, and yet fragile Alice didn't wan to make things harder for _me_. How selfless this foolish girl was; but I loved this foolish girl even more if it was possible.

I bent down and pressed my lips against hers, enjoying one of the many brief moments of seclusion we had. I felt a smile form on her lips as she kissed me back fervently. Only one word came to mind as I held her in my arms: Bliss. After a few minutes, she pulled back and yet kept her eyes on mine.

"I love you Jasper. I am incandescently and completely in love with you." She reached into my pocket and took out the black box which held the token of my affection. "And one day I will wear this ring proudly."

"Mmh," I murmured into her ear, placing a light kiss in the process. "I can just imagine the day. You are walking down that aisle with Carlisle, your white gown flowing in the wind-"

She swatted at my playfully and let out a soft giggle. "I don't think white would be appropriate seeing as I'm not…chaste."

A wicked grin appeared on my face as I waggled my eyebrows. "That hasn't stopped Rosalie and everyone knows how lewd that girl is."

"And then there is sharing a room-"

"I beseech you Alice. No pink."

Alice broke away from our embrace and began to prance off towards the clearing once more. "That's one commitment of mine that I'm not willing to give up," she chimed in a singsong voice as she entered the festivities once more.

A wave of relief washed over me. I smiled as I walked back towards the wedding reception and realized for the first time that day I was happy. I was happy because Alice _did _want to marry me. I was happy because Alice cared for me deeply. I was happy because one day I wouldn't be controlled by the feral instincts within me.

The one thing that made me the happiest person in the world was the fact that Alice stole the ring from the box and flashed it happily on her left finger at everyone.

Just because I couldn't fully commit myself to her, didn't mean that she wouldn't fully commit herself to me.

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Authoress Note: Yes, I don't know if Alice and Jasper have married or not, but from what I've seen, it hasn't happened. I just had this idea stuck in my mind for a while, so enjoy. Thank you.


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